Today was a long, marginally strange day filled with words and roads and streaming thoughts and tiny emotional upheavals. Tomorrow will be another day, and I fly through the sky and land and fly again, and say good-byes and hellos. I don’t want to go another week without talking to you, my friends, but I don’t want to spend this evening writing “on” something or about something. I want to spend it in prayer. So here is a prayer of mine. These will be my words tonight, and then there will be song, and then there will be silence.
My Lord and my Love,
Here I am. As I close my eyes and come to You in prayer, I am not asking You for blessings or for mercy. Your mercy is infinite, all-permeating, and I already have it. Your blessing is in all the priceless moments that fill my life in abundance: in every shared joke and the patter of rain on the night window and a song of my sisters’ voices, in and out of tune, echoing from wooden beams of the chapel decorated with their hands. It is in every wisp of cloud turned by a sunset’s brush into a fire-breathing dragon that rides a curling wave, in every book that’s made me linger in silence upon turning the last page. It is in every tender touch of a warm human hand, a gust of hot wind on my face that brings the smell of dust and harvest, the lips of a llama. Your immeasurable blessing is this very world, and I already have it.
My Love, I am not asking You for guidance through this unfathomable world, for You already guide me—with my every step, at every twist and turn of the path You’ve laid out for me, in every decision I make You are there by my side and in my mind. Your Word is always with me to keep me on the path. Your love is always with me to keep me holding on. Whenever I need guidance, You whisper it into my heart. All I have to do is listen, every blessed moment of every day.
I often fall short of what I know is right—but, my Love, I am not asking that You increase my courage or my compassion. I know that You gave me the capacity to be all that You had envisioned me to be. You gave me a heart that’s strong enough to hold the whole world and large enough to hold Your love for it, and you laid my path down through obstacles and pains that allow me now to understand the pain of others. I have courage and compassion in abundance; all I have to do is reach inside and keep my heart wide open.
My Lord and my Love,
There is nothing I want that I don’t have. Nothing I want to be that I am not.
Here I am. As I come to you in prayer, let me say only this: I love You. I am yours. You are mine. Then let me linger, steeped in You, in our peace together. Without words.